Recap Of Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta Episode Two: “Cabaret Captain”

I’m back to recap “Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta.” Are you ready? Let’s get started!

Episode Two: “Cabaret Captain”

The episode starts with Joseline’s video “Live Your Best Life” which apparently is going to be the intro for every week. It’s a catchy enough song after you hear it a bunch of times. If you happen to be unsure, by the end of this episode it will be a bop. I mean they play it a bunch of times, which is a genius way for Joseline to get her music out there during this pandemic, but back to the recap.

So we are back at the point of the argument where Lucky politely asks, “May I?” And then proceeds to whoop Blue Face Barbie’s ass.

And now that we see it again, all we see Blue Face Barbie do is flail around kicking ferociously to avoid the 10-piece McNugget beatdown that Lucky Hustla was giving out, just in case Barbie needed a few extra socks to her interesting looking face. I thought you said that you was going to walk Lucky like a dog, huh Blue Face Barbie?

Ha!

Joseline says she didn’t know that Lucky had this side to her. I mean none of us did. Gone is the sniffles and weepy eyes, this Lucky is prepared to use her hands and feet to get her respect. We get it. Nobody respects a pushover and Lucky does just enough and then steps back while the whole house descends into chaos.

Blue Face Barbie is screaming that Lucky “snuck her”. Well that’s not the way I see it. You both were face to face arguing. I mean what did you expect to happen?

You even said out of your own mouth what you would do if you were confronted by Lucky. The way I see it, Blue Face Barbie is all mouth. She expected to bump those too big veneers and because last season Lucky was bullied without doing much about it except boo hooing out of frustration, she expected to run over her with her big mouth.

And if worse came to worst, if it looked like her bluff was being called, security or another one of the girls would step in and she could look tough while being held back.

That was a bad strategy.

Security ends up dragging them both away to defuse the situation but the energy in the room is still electrified and explosions can spark up at any minute as we shall see in a few minutes.

So while being carried off and restrained, Blue Face Barbie’s breasts are literally laid bare while she screams about Lucky “trying to pay her n*****,” she uses the “N” word instead of “pimp”, “boyfriend” or “dude”. She just had to call him that word.

Whoa.

Now I know this is off topic but let me just make a point about White women fetishizing Black men. It is one thing, but hurling racial slurs is another. Just because you have some sort of relationship with a Black person, no matter how toxic, does not give you the right to use that word without strong opposition. But everyone seems to let it go. The insults continue.

Blue Face Barbie runs up on Lucky again and can you guess what happened? Despite being rushed, Lucky gave her another “two piece”, because apparently that ten piece from earlier wasn’t enough. But as she ran up on Lucky, it was Joseline who ran away with a scream trying to protect her drink.

Hilarious.

So security again has to pick Blue Face Barbie up, this time from the floor. She tells Lucky that she is lucky that security is stopping her. Lucky why, because you could have accidentally gotten a hit in? Not a chance but we watch her scream threats while being protected, oh excuse me, restrained by security.

Wink wink.

Ballistic is pissed because he feels like security is putting Joseline in harm’s way. That just makes me want him more and more for Joseline. Yes she can handle herself but it feels good when a man shows his protective side, but I digress.

Lucky stands in the corner calmly with tears streaming down her face while Blue Face continues putting her down while being dragged away by security. Smart move for whatever reason, I am the type that will calm down so I do not have to be held. I bruise easily so having a person of the opposite sex manhandle me is not an option.

So Lucky stands there with security focused on the other fires breaking out. Joseline asks Blue Face Barbie to calm down and she says “no”. She is still acting, oh excuse me, expressing she wants to fight. I guess she likes being picked up from the floor. I’m confused.

So while Joseline is trying to reassure Ballistic that she is okay so that he can calm down, Big Lex had gone upstairs and came back with her hair tied up and tennis shoes on. This doesn’t sit well with Bosstec who calls her out and then they start arguing.

Everyone is shocked including the viewing audience when Big Lex and Bosstec get in a scuffle. I had to rewind the scene again. What happened?

REWIND…

They have words, and next thing you know we see security breaking up a fight we never get to see start. In the commotion we see Sapphire tying up her hair just in case. That’s me. When a bunch of tension is in the air the wise thing to do is stay ready. You never know, an enemy might use this opportunity to sneak you or one of your friends. Sapphire was like “not on my watch”.

If you stay ready, you ain’t got to get ready. Shout out to Suga Free. But it seems like everybody in the house has picked sides and are preparing to get it cracking. The house has seemed to splinter into cliques. Blue Face Barbie, Chanel Tso, Bosstec and Aqua are one. Sapphire, Big Lex and Lucky Hustla are another. Where does that leave Lexi Blow, Yummy P and Mz Natural?

Hopefully they are staying neutral. It’s a competition after all, dang it. Joseline wonders why, despite only being in the house for some odd hours, they already are making friends. She is perplexed. We are too Joseline, we are too.

Apparently during the scuffle Big Lex pulled out the front of Bosstec’s hair unit. What Big Lex proceeded to do makes me rethink what I said in the previous recap. She proceeded to mock Bosstec by putting the pulled out hair between her legs as if it were pubic hair and humped in her direction and then told her, “come get your frontal” and I howled.

It was crude, rude and ignorant but I laughed my socks off. Security, apparently winded from holding her, took her to the couch and just let go of Big Lex as if she were a sack of potatoes, and she plopped down on it. Imma need security to work out more often.

That was pitiful, but dude was exhausted.

I’m also going to need Bosstec to stop bringing up the ten bands and her money. Lexi Blow says some of the realest stuff ever because if it isn’t about her finances or family, she don’t entertain it. I like Lexi Blow, she is quiet but when she talks she makes sense.

Joseline doesn’t know why Lucky fought Blue Face Barbie. Lucky says she was tired of being picked on but Joseline wants her to be an example for the other women. Lucky wants to show Joseline she can control her emotions in the future.

Joseline feels Blue Face Barbie deserved being beat up until she is black and blue for being a bully. We all know Joseline hates bullies. She asks Blue Face Barbie to let it go, but she refuses. She wants to get some get back or end up back on the floor one, whichever is clever.

Who would like to bet she is going to end up on the floor?

She explains she was snuck to which Joseline says, but you did hit her back, and we agree but Blue Face wants to push the issue. Joseline says it’s enough, just let it go for the night and Blue Face Barbie gets on her knees and begs Joseline to let them fight.

The other girls want them to fight. Bosstec says Joseline should have known when Big Lex came ready to fight that it was going down, and Joseline disagrees. Nobody saw that coming especially with all the other fires erupting elsewhere. Bosstec is mad her hair was snatched. I agree with Joseline. You should have stayed out of it.

Joseline goes to talk to Bosstec in her room. She wants to know why she wants to leave. She says she didn’t come to the house for all that that went on downstairs despite hopping in a situation that had nothing to do with her. Joseline convinces her to stay. We don’t care, so moving on.

The next day Sapphire, Big Lex, Lucky and Lexi Blow are hanging out discussing the night before. Lucky said that side was brought out. She is tired of being bullied.

Side note, Big Lex’s makeup looked really pretty. She says to the girls she needs to apologize to Aqua for the insensitive comments.

Aaaaaaaw! I’m glad I gave Big Lex a chance. The comment was trash and she gets it. Way to act grown frfr. Let’s move on.

Joseline is in her room getting yet another foot massage but this time by a massage machine. She is talking to Ballistic Beats about the day before. He agrees that the ass whooping Blue Face got was deserved.

They discuss the other shenanigans of the day. He apparently checked security behind Joseline being put in harm’s way. She tells him she wants him to judge a competition between the girls. He agrees.

Aqua, Chanel Tso and Bosstec speak about the night before while taking shots of liquor in the kitchen. In comes Blue Face Barbie. Chanel asked Bosstec about her wig because according to her and I quote, “A wig without a head and a head without a wig are dangerous” end quote.

Girl what?

They all are gossiping about Big Lex. Bosstec is complaining about her wig being snatched but when she shows her real hair from under a baseball cap, it’s beautiful. Who needs a wig when your natural hair is beautiful? Is it me or does she look like she could be a younger sister of Fantasia, the R&B singer? Blue Face Barbie says once again she was snuck.

Girl shut up.

They toast to being in the house and wishing a b***h would. Would what Blue Face Barbie?

Shhhhhh!

Yummy P and Mz Natural are talking about the night before and demonstrating how, after Lucky asked “May I?” she proceeded to unleash a flurry of punches. They are over the negative energy in the house. They came to be in the Cabaret.

Right, stay focused.

Joseline goes to visit Lucky in her room. Lucky is scared she is going home but Joseline picks Lucky as the bottom bitch and cabaret captain and tells her to tell the other girls to get ready for the competition by putting on something sexy, all except Blue Face Barbie who Sapphire will tell to get ready. Most of the ladies are happy Lucky is the captain, others….. hate.

The Rehearsal Slash Competition

A pole is set up and Joseline dances under the disco ball for Ballistic who sits mesmerized by her sexy. Her body is flawless!

Get it Joseline.

Now it’s the girls’ turn. Bosstec is not there, she is getting her hair done. Joseline is upset because she is missing the competition. It’s the first rehearsal by the way. She can be replaced because you know how Joseline is, if you don’t want it, on to the next.

Blue Face Barbie has words with Lucky about being the bottom b***h and Joseline moves on to the business at hand. Thank goodness cause we don’t care.

Ballistic puts on Joseline’s “Live Your Best Life” and by now it should be your jam!

First up Yummy P, who surprises us? She worked the hell out of the pole. After she dances Joseline reminds them to work the pole as well as the floor. I wish she would have said that before, I bet Yummy would have won.

Then Lucky shows why she is the chosen one.

Next up, Mz Natural whose training as a dancer makes her routine flawless and full of body contortions.

Wow.

Joseline worries how she is going to pick—the girls so far are that good. Now who will be next? Blue Face Barbie, you’re up!

Despite being dressed for the occasion and a contestant on the show she gives a lame excuse and wants to go last.

Huh?

She wants to fight Lucky again, I mean it has been awhile since she has seen her new best friend, the floor. Joseline squashes it.

Stop stalling Blue Face Barbie.

Next up, Lexi Blow who dances so well Joseline wants to have sex with her. Ballistic is impressed with the girls so far as well.

Big Lex shows us her skills, and who knew sis body was that banging? Blue Face Barbie says Big Lex looked like an amateur but look who is talking. Blue Face Barbie, at least she had the courage to dance, with yo wack ass.

Now we see Sapphire who killed the room when she did a handstand in Joseline’s lap and twerked. She was phenomenal on the pole and the floor.

Next, Aqua, who was impressive, but when her behind was directly in front of Joseline’s face, Joseline reacted with disgust and brought up Aqua’s abortion.

Sigh.

That was uncalled for, but understandable. See, Joseline says the things we don’t have the balls to say. It be jacked up, but true, let’s move on…….

Now, it’s Chanel Tso’s turn. Joseline says she has a belly. Okay, she does, but it’s nothing she couldn’t work off in the gym. It’s not like she is fat she just has a small pouch.

She looked okay but the dancing needed work. She stumbles through her routine looking a mess. The girls are in the background snickering at her. She may or may not be wasted, I’m just saying.

Wait did we see everybody dance? Nope….Last but not least, Blue Face Barbie!

She takes off her heels as if to dance but rushes Lucky. Who wants to bet next episode she was picked up off the floor AGAIN?

So that was the episode. Did anybody catch it? Let’s support Joseline and her reality show. Show the Puerto Rican Princess some love! Feel free to leave a comment, and keep reading for my recap of Episode Three!

What are your thoughts?

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Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta, Episode Two: “Cabaret Captain”
Originally published on When This Woman Speaks, April 26, 2021. Republished on Pinknarcology with light edits for clarity and updated links. The opinions and reactions reflect my original viewing.

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